The journal

How to choose an executive coach when you are already senior.

What to look for, what to ask, and the one thing to be wary of.

By the time you are senior, you have probably been offered coaching before. Often it came attached to a promotion or a programme. Sometimes it helped for a quarter. Then the old pattern came back, because nothing underneath it had moved.

Choosing your own coach is different. Here is what to look for.

Look for someone who has sat with people at your level

Ask how long they have coached, and who. You want someone who has worked with founders, partners and executives inside real organizations, under real pressure, where the cost of a pattern shows up in numbers. Experience at your level means they will not be impressed by your title, and they will not be intimidated by it either.

Look for a method, not a personality

A coach should be able to tell you how the work moves: what comes first, what comes next, and how you will both know it is working. If the answer is mostly charisma, the results will be too.

Be wary of anyone who sells the visible part first

Much of the market sells presence, visibility and executive brand. For a woman who is already exhausted by performing, that is more performance. It tends to work for a quarter, the way it always does.

Real change runs in an order. You grow on the inside first, and the glow comes later. A coach who promises the glow up front is asking you to skip the part that does the work.

Ask them to name the fit honestly

A good coach will tell you if they are the wrong person for you, and suggest who might be better. If every conversation ends in a yes, that is information.

Check what you are bringing

Before any first conversation, pick one thing. One pattern, one relationship, one piece of work you are trying to change. Coaching that tries to fix everything tends to fix nothing.

Questions worth asking on a first call

How long have you coached, and at what level? What happens in the first three months? How will we know if it is working? What do you do when a client is performing for you? When would you tell me this is not the right fit?

If you're ready, here's the door. If you're not, that's information too.